First dance

Today is the three-year anniversary of the day of my favourite moment in the whole world. 

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Our song was playing; I know because we planned it for just after the toast. But I might as well not have even heard it. I was long gone, lost completely. All my senses were consumed with one thing: the man I loved right in front of me, dancing with me, looking at me, holding me… and that’s how forever begins, I’m sure of it.

Of course I know the words of our song by heart. Colin introduced me to the band in the days when we first met; when our dates were at Starbucks and the Olive Garden and I brushed my teeth before I went out. He would always play it in the car. A subtle hint, I think, for our future. You wonder if God does that on purpose — plants you small hints at your lifetime ahead. For today, I didn’t need to hear the words to know the song, because it’s been in my head all along.

We were whispering to each other even though no one else could hear inside our universe. I don’t know what other people talk about while they dance but we talked about the ordinary things of the moment. Like the fettuccine and the weather and our families and how I wished I could take off these shoes. The kind of ordinary conversation that makes no sense because it absolutely captivates you for none other a reason than it’s with the person you love. And then you’re holding onto the moment, fingers-laced, ready to retire from any better feeling for the next century.

I can’t recall at the time noticing anybody but him in front of me. In the most cliche of terms, it was just us for three short minutes and forty-two long seconds. A dance that feels like it was hours long, and at the same time a moment up too fast. My eyes were on only one person, but I felt a two hundred pairs of eyes on me. And I didn’t care. It’s a significant thing not to care about this, even for a bride on her wedding day.

Somewhere just beyond our bubble I can see my dad’s face in my photo-reconstructed memory — proud and puffed up with happiness. It’s probably one of my favourite feelings of the whole day knowing deep in my heart that dad loves me (and us) this much. My sister is on the side, champagne in hand, watching in her peach dress. I love her for it. I love her for watching, and being there, and standing right beside me on the best day of my life. Mom is always there, that’s what makes her the best. She cares and loves and supports me and Colin more than we could comprehend of our own love for each other.

Crying on your wedding day isn’t over-rated at all. I cried four times: Putting on my dress, down the aisle, during the toast, and one more incredibly special moment I’ll never ever forget. The evening came to an 10 times quicker than I would’ve liked, definitely not long enough for me to soak in my wedding day ’til my fingers are prune-y. We were coming through the middle of a tunnel of smiles and tossed rose petals made of our wedding guests and just before I turned to get in the car… my brother. He was hugging me and I just felt loved again. I remember the exact feeling — like my air left my lungs and I felt like I was saying goodbye. Not “goodbye”, but “goodbye from being just your sister from now on. I’m a wife now, too”. And also “I love you, sis. And I’m so proud of you”. (tears)

Back on the dance floor, I was thinking about today. Sometimes when you’re planning and anticipating (as weddings do to you) something for so long, you feel stunned or exhausted or relieved when it finally happens. I neither felt stunned nor exhausted. Relieved is but the worst of descriptions since I’d willingly recreate my wedding every year if I could. No, I just felt… filled up. Just plain spilling-over-the-brim with the opposite of surprise — with belief that this is my wedding day.

The lyrics blurred on in this moment of stand-still, us at the juncture of life and lifetime.

Lots of time for learning
Gonna keep this candle burning
Day by day until we reach forever
This treasure we’ve been given
The song that we’re singing
Will bind our dancing hearts together
All I am my heart my hands
All that I hope to become
There’s no hiding ’cause we’re uniting
All who we are as one
Well right here today
When I’m old and gray
I just wanna be with you
With you

I don’t know if this world’s big and round
I just wanna be with you
When the sun goes down
I don’t know if this world’s big and round
I just wanna be with you
When the sun goes down

 And when the song finishes, we stand there for a moment like our wedding day melody hasn’t just paused. And I know without a doubt it’s exactly as the beginning of the song says: It’s so simple you and me.

First dance | Lindsey Talerico-Hedren

First dance. August 1, 2010.

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I love you, Colin. You are the love of my life and I am sure I would be lost in this world without you. You never leave my thoughts and I would marry you every day over and over if our bank account allowed it. Happy anniversary. Three behind us, and a lifetime ahead.

Lindsey

First dance | Lindsey Talerico-Hedren

P.S. I’m in India today (I know, on my anniversary… I’ll gain wife points back next week!) and have to include this photo, too. I was showing these girls photos of Colin on my phone and snapped this while they oo’d and aww’d 🙂 Their actual words: “Super choice”. I couldn’t agree more.

 

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  • Oh Girl, As always you just bless my heart! Remember spending your first anniversary with you in Bolivia. Love you! Enjoy a blessed and safe trip in India. Deb

  • Colin Hedren

    Sweetheart this is beautiful! It truly was the best moment in time – im still in love with that day, our day. I love that song and could listen to it over and over with you. It truly is – so simple you and I. I love you forever and cant wait for you to be home so we can celebrate this one. 🙂

  • Rindy

    I can feel the love you two have for each other and it brings tears to my eyes. So sweet, love you both. Love that you were showing him off to your new friends.

  • Thanks for loving us mum. Love you back x a million.

  • Me more. xo.

  • Dearest Deb, I will surely *never* forget that first anniversary — and partly bc of your care, and love, and heart that I got to know on that trip. Hope travels and fate will bring us together again. Love you lots.