I think it’s strategic for us to have saved “my biggest flaw” for the second to last day of #Janblogaday. It means I’ve had weeks to mentally prepare for this post. Not weeks of psychological torment at the idea I’d have to write about my short-comings. But weeks of not knowing what I’d write about. My face? My Sponge Bob body? My need for significance? Or refusal to do the dishes?
Good thing a few conversations with my husband, mom and a friend quickly confirmed what I already know: There are just simply too many flaws. When you have more than eight, singling out one flaw as the most loved is sort of like your mom telling you she likes your brother and sister better than you. And I believe in no so such positivity (even if constructive) coming from that inner dialogue between me and my flaws. For the sake of fairness and to uphold the peace between all my flaws, you get the whole bag.
Pretend this is like me describing me so that when we meet one day in the airport or a bar or the gynaecologist’s office, you’ll understand if we don’t talk. Add bathrooms to that list – every bathroom conversation is weird and I try not to take part in those.
- I sometimes get in modes of blabbing, to the point where I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. And it’s fine with me if you stop listening.
- I have a great memory for the big picture, but sometimes selectively forget the unimportant details. I might be known to say things like this: “That was about that thing with that guy from Zambia who, like, was a journalist or something.”
- I will have lots of bags with me. Three? Four? It’s hard to tell without knowing where we might meet.
- A stranger called me “quirky” in the elevator the other day. Whatever that means.
- I’m willing to steal from grandma.
- I’m married to a 2.5 Republican.
- I got kicked out of the gym once.
- Strawberries and oranges make me believe in God. Next time you eat one of these, have a good stare at it and you’ll see what I mean.
- I’m a secret Skype, Twitter, and blog stalker. That’s how I already know you.
- I tend to ask really personal questions about relationships and marriage and kids. Because I’m interested in the parts of your life that matter most. But you can choose to not tell me and I won’t bring it up again… this week.
- Sometimes I eat things like I might never eat again. In fact, this is what I want my superpower to be.
- I’m easily depressed.
- Want to try out feminism? Just ask me!
- I also make sound effects — bees buzzing, the wind, fast import cars, seals…
- I work best when it’s on the fly. So I’ll probably talk out loud a lot, about random ideas. Then you just may see those ideas in some fashion or another on this blog or the another Blog or written on my hand.
- I think outloud about my future children, getting a graduate degree, the weather, blogging, tweeting, eating spaghetti…
- I usually hate what I’m wearing.
- Sometimes I tweet about dessert.
- I’ve hit a parked car. Twice.
- I like to sing songs in different genres than they were created (i.e. I sometimes sing worship songs scr-emo, and sometimes sing rap songs country… Pitch Perfect aint got nothing on me)
- I have a magical gift for when riding in the car or getting on an airplane: I get really sleepy and miss 90% of the journey.
- I get in a fight with the toothpaste tube every night. And I win.
- I really hope you comment on this post because I tend to think I have more significance in life when I get comments.
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More from #Janblogaday: Day 1: New… year, new resolution. Day 2: Two… things you should never say to your partner. Day 3: Bucket list… of (some un)realistic wishes. Day 4: Pet peeve… fountains are not the new jungle gym. Day 5: Fear not, even if I am a little crazy. Day 6: Embarrassment: Lindsey – 1, Dad – 4. Day 7: The shoe horoscope. Day 8: A little honesty. Day 9: Made with love: Wintery Instagram jam. Day 10: Grandma took my room, so I took her pajamas. Day 11: A husband confession. Day 12: Haiti changed me. Day 13: Top ten ‘why not’ finds at Walmart. Day 14: Guess that food. Day 15: A hug-free, dent-free left-hand side of the road. Day 16: I’m getting my own tube. Day 17: This is your brain on bacon. Day 18: Dear newly-wed. Day 19: Superpowerful and hungry. Day 20: Beauty to me. Day 21: Happy. Day 22: Lock me up in a kids world. Day 23: Social media in desserts. Day 24: Teacherhood of a dirty chalkboard. Day 25: el.oh.vee.ee. Day 26: 8 reasons you need New Zealand summer in your life. Day 27: Regret moments, not years. Day 28: (Surprise from Ben) Starting a social media sing-along. Day 29: Pots and pans and living 8500 miles from home. Last day tomorrow, day 30: Favourite.
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