When your husband is “the other team”

Is it necessary for married couples to always be on the same team? Nope. Not in my opinion.

When Colin and I are going to enjoy a family-friendly game of Settlers or Bluff (which is the rated-G equivalent to the card game BS… as in “I think you’re bluffing”) I much prefer us to be on separate teams. As two individuals who draw our conclusions from very different places — me from my compulsory-decision-making, historically inaccurate brain and him from his beautiful, pure as gold heart — it makes the most sense for us to compete on different teams. Otherwise I might yell. He might cry. = Ruined night for the whole family, and I’m on a 10-year plan to impress my in-laws, so this cannot happen.

Making room for the other team in the house | Lindsey Talerico-Hedren

That’s me… winning at some cowboy card game at the in-laws house.

One time I lost by a mile to my much younger sister-in-law in an intellectually stimulating game of Scrabble and I ate the rest of the cookies on the counter to ensure poor loser wouldn’t be too obvious.

You can imagine the anxiety in our household as of late — Colin in his red polo shirt he got at the gun shop and me in my rainbow socks ready to make a blue cake. We followed the Election only mildly closely, which means that my husband reads articles only in red text and I source my information mainly from Twitter and Wikipedia. Sometimes we talk about it. Mainly I think up ways I can bribe him to start bleeding blue. I haven’t yet succeeded. But I get knocked down and I get up again…

I absolutely think the State of Washington is fantastic because when I emailed them from their website about voting from overseas, they replied in five hours. That’s 100 x the service I’ll ever get from AT&T. It made me feel like my vote must really count. My voters pack was mailed to my New Zealand address in four days, faster than Nordstrom’s shipping.

I admit after filling out my ballot I did feel a twinge of American spirit… like I’d eat a red, white and blue starred donut if there was one in front of me. Or some chilli cheese fries. Or a Poptart. But then I was leaving the next day (three days before Election Day) for Bangkok so my vote was really in the hands of my husband to turn it in… who has a poor track record of denying that my Democratic weight makes me look fat.

Before I left for the airport I told him I wouldn’t love him any more if he denied me my single sliver of voice in the future of our great nation. Not every wife can pull off such an ultimatum.

I was in meetings and presentations during the whole of Election Day. But thank God for social media… keeping me employed, giving me the 411 on the Election results and Donald Trump. Here’s a little snapshot of what my “Election” news looked like last Wednesday (Tuesday, U.S. time):

And… this.

Making room for the other team in the house | Lindsey Talerico-Hedren

A real Facebook update from my husband.

But while all that was happening on my news feed, I was getting free dance lessons with the Koreans. Tweeting, hosting a couple workshops on social media, learning Gangnam style. Obama re-elected… turned out to be a fine day.

Two teams, one household | Lindsey Talerico-Hedren

I wasn’t kidding about the Koreans teaching us Gangnam style.

I really don’t know if my vote ever made it back home. And I’m trying not to talk about the Election much with the hus because it’s sort of like the relative who he was once really close with and used to go to their house for Christmas but who has since ran away with a younger, more liberal family. Also, what would I say? “Ummm… sorry you’re guy lost. Maybe next time?”

There’s a lesson in this, I’m sure. I think it’s about being quietly victorious because some people are sensitive. And those people might be the ones you love most. Win or lose, I really want someone to do the dishes after dinner tonight. And if that isn’t a lesson in marriage, then I don’t know what is.

There's always enough room in the house for the other team | Lindsey Talerico-Hedren

Lesson: Quietly rejoice.

PS: I’m just kidding about the red polo shirt from the gun shop. Colin buys his polo shirts from American Eagle, for golfing of course. And I stopped wearing polo shirts after Jr. High.

PPS: In my last post on politics I voted Colin a 2.5 on my made-up Republican/Democrat scale (0 = Republican, 10 = Democrat). After re-evaluation, I’d like to lower my vote to a 1.5.

PPPS: Colin just asked me if he was going to be misrepresented in this post. And I said, “definitely.”

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  • GQ = Gangam Quality. I’m expecting a demo for our next NetSquared hangout 😀

  • Because I’m Asian I’ve got Gangnam style? Then you’re in, too. DOUBLE GQ demo on the next hangout.